1. Names
When I first got to Turkey, learning to pronounce Turkish names intimidated me. As time went on however, I realized that there are a rather limited amount of super-popular Turkish names and that once I learned these, I was golden. I have anywhere from 1-3 Alis, Mustafas, Muhammads, Mehmets/Ahmets, Cans/Caners, Murats, Furkans, Kaans, Yusufs, Buraks, Emrah/Emres, Özgürs, Oğuzhans, Fatihs, Serkan/Serhans, Zeyneps, Sinems, Beyzas, and Kübras in each class. It also makes for an interesting point of comparison with the other Fulbright teachers who also have a billion of the same…“All my Furkans are troublemakers” “Zeyneps are the sweetest!”
My name, on the other hand, is never "Ms." or "Mrs." anything. It's "Kealy Teacher," "Teacher," "Hocam" or sometimes when they get lazy, just "Kealy." Weird? Yes. A battle I wish to fight? Nope.
2. Classroom Troubleshooting for Beginners
Problem: Classroom is locked.Solution: You don’t have keys, so you should probably look around for the nearest custodian. She could be anywhere in the building… Good luck.
Problem: There is an exam scheduled in your classroom, and no one told you.
Solution: You should probably herd all your students down four flights of stairs while on the phone with every teacher you can get a hold of to see if their classrooms are free.
Problem: No air-conditioning and the afternoon class is melting alive.
Solution: Attempt to have class outside, and after 15 minutes of fighting tooth and nail for students’ attention, give them an assignment they can do while smoking and dismiss them when they finish.
Problem: You got lost on your way to your classroom. Again.
Solution: There is no choice but to retrace your steps and start again. Don’t worry, just go back down to the third floor, then down two more flights of stairs and you’ll find the fourth floor of the G block again…
3. "PAPERPENPENCIL"
This is the war-cry of my classroom. My students make fun of me for this all the time, but that still doesn’t mean that they remember to bring all or any of the above. Usually, the conversation goes something like this:Me: On your desk please: Paper, Pen, Pencil! Two students are already writing down what’s on the board. Half the class is yelling up to the one girl in the front who brought a notebook, and she’s passing pages around, which are torn into smaller and smaller pieces until most everyone has a scrap of something. Four or five students just tear another page out of the back of their textbook.
Me: (after explaining directions, to random student staring into space) Mehmet*, why aren’t you writing?
Student: shrugs
Me: Do you have paper? Pen? Pencil?
Student: …Yok, hocam.
Me: Okay… So you have a problem… How are you going to solve this problem…? Repeat for three or four students, per class period, then start process all over again tomorrow…
*Note: Not any of my real students' names...
4. Collecting Papers
As you can predict from Point 3, when I ask for a written assignment, what I collect usually looks something like this:
I also frequently have conversations about why you shouldn’t
write emoticons, texting short-hand, or phrases like “blah blah blah” in
academic writing.
5. IMZAT
Classroom management is bound to be an issue when your class is a roomful of largely unmotivated adolescent men (mine are all Engineering students, and about 95% male*). What I didn’t expect, however, was for there to be little to no structured disciplinary system at the university… at all. So when students aren’t graded beyond exams and attendance, we have to get a little creative about the way we motivate/coerce our classes to some semblance of good behavior. The one thing we have some control over is their ability to sign in and out for each hour of class— thus the “imzat” or “signature” became a weapon.I can’t tell you how many angry students have stormed out after the same conversations: “No, I’m sorry, but you were more than 5 minutes late to the first hour of class. You know the rule, you lose one signature for today… ” or “You came in 45 minutes late and then refused to do your work. No, you cannot sign the attendance sheet for this hour. If you want to sleep, you are welcome to go home and sleep, but I cannot give you credit for being here.”
*I am really rather fortunate that my students are mostly respectful. In all seriousness though, there are certain aspects of teaching adolescent males in a patriarchal society that are problematic. Many Fulbrighters have experienced very real harassment from students or colleagues. This blog post by my friend Laurel, is an amazing description of the issue. Check it out!!
6. Teacher Talk
You know you are an EFL (English as a Foreign Language) teacher if any of the following are true for you:- You cannot speak without using your hands: You’re part teacher, part mime, and you’ve found creative ways to signal even the most obscure words. You and your fellow teachers have even inadvertently developed the same signals for many words, and you’re convinced it should be a certified form of sign language.
- You’re trained to respond to blank looks: You see a flash of confusion, look of panic, or no one is making eye contact. You start over. Different words. Slower pace. More writing or hand gestures. Give an example. And repeat.
- You speak in circulation and examples: After a long day of teaching, conversations with your housemates go as follows… “What would you like for dinner… to eat… We can eat çiğ köfte… we can eat çorba… we can cook dinner… what would you like to eat… for dinner?”
- You’ve mostly lost the ability to correctly speak the language you teach: You also often struggle to distinguish between standard English, British English, and cultural Turklish…
A: “Three weeks later.”
Q: “What will you do tomorrow?”
A: “At the weekend, I always go to the Saturday pazar.”
Q: “What did you do yesterday?”
A: “We traveled to Cappadocia. It was too much fun.”
But, when all is said and done, I love my job and my students, and I know I will dearly miss both when I leave. At the end of the day, while the craziness may be frustrating, it is also keeps things interesting, and while my students might be problematic, they are also entertaining, funny, and endearing. Every day brings a new challenge and a new opportunity, and there is certainly never a dull moment. :)
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